Worst Jokes Ever
My "choco" is too "late" for lunch.
What is red and very rare?
A child in a blender.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
What do gay people and mice have in common?
They both hate pussy cats!
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
What do the initials NOW stand for?
(A.) National Organization For Women
(B.) National Organization of Whores
(C.) All the above
Answer:
Since the initials NOW can stand for anything, the correct answer is all the above.
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.
My girlfriend told me the dishwasher was leaking, so I brought home some tampons.
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
"Wanna play the rape game?"
"No!!!!"
"That's the spirit!"
School. School is a slavery joke and a Nazi joke combined.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
Imagine this... you're a lesbian, and you're doing it with your cannibal girlfriend. You say, "Eat me, baby!"
She pulls out a knife and fork.
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!