Worst Jokes Ever
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
Everyone says Kenny has an easy life.
I disagree. I hear his mom likes complicated sex positions.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair. 😎
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
What's the difference between a phone and a girl? You can turn it off whenever you want.
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she. Did you see that one coming? Neither did she.
(She's blind and deaf)
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
What do you call a blind German?
A notsee.
Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."
Joe: "Bi den"
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.