Worst Jokes Ever

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”

What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.

Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.

If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

What is a redneck's favorite sock?

A red sock.

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

By rearranging the furniture.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

Do you know why I hate pedophiles?

They are fucking immature kids!

What is the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn’t fart when you pull the meat out.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

Have you heard of the... uh Pokemon called uh rhy... rhy... Rhydon deez nuts?

None of these are even funny. Just stupid.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

I was always poked and told at weddings your next...

So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....