Worst Jokes Ever
When rejected:
That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.
What do you call a racist community? America.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
Help me...
I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
I would name my dog "Five Miles" so I could say I walk five miles every day, but today I ran over Five Miles.
Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
Why were the Twin Towers upset? They ordered Domino's but got jets.
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.
How do emos compliment each other?
They say, "I like your cuts g."
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!