Worst Jokes Ever

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?

They both died at 95.

Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?

He heard boys' pants were half off!

What is the fastest thing in the world?

James Charles when he sees little boys.

Why do short people laugh when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Why do orphans like to play GTA?

Because it's the only time they are wanted.

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't, they just eat out.

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers such good readers?

They went through 110 stories in 10 seconds.

What do you call your Indian best friend who is the ABSOLUTE BEST at cunnilingus? A Curry Muncher.

Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.

What is harder than steel?

Michael Jackson on a primary school oval. 😂

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.

Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?

He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.

Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.

Why are Americans so dumb?

Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

Why are Nepalese 🇳🇵 bad at chess?

Because someone already killed their 👑.

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.

Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.