Worst Jokes Ever
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
What is a pirate's favorite element?
Argon.
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
Why don't the Amish water ski?
The horses would drown.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
A time traveler walks into a bar.
He orders a beer and a shot of whiskey.
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?
Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What is the opposite of Progress?
Congress.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.