Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so stupid, she asks for the restroom on Amazon.
Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.
Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
Yo mama played the iceberg in Titanic.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.
Yo mama was really the reason why the Titanic sunk.
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
Why do sharks never attack lawyers? -- Professional courtesy.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."