Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
I don't trust atoms.
They make up everything.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool?
"Please get out of the pool."
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.