Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris Reads
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen here, you uncultured swine. You think books teach Chuck Norris? Nah, he just glares at them, and the knowledge jumps right into his brain. It's like a reverse book club. So, you understand now, or do I have to show you?