What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Worst Jokes Ever
Donald Trump is YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
You know chords, right? Well, you know what I love to do? To play with A-minor. You know, feel your fingers on A-minor. Gives you a sense of power, to just F A-minor.
But that's not my favorite thing to fiddle with. That would be the D of minors. It's just solid, you know. If you're clever you can have the D of minors into the C of minors. Or, though a bit tricky, the D of minors into the B of minors.
And at this point you've gotten the point and if I want to continue it would be a bit of a stretch.
Life.
I like my women like my coffee—ground up and frozen.
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
I fucked a Pokemon the other day. It is dead now.
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?
Arsenal can win trophies and win games.
Vladimir Putin is probably a homophobe because he has to go through life with the name of a gay porn star.
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile?
Trying to fit in.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because...
