Worst Jokes Ever
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
What is Hawking's number one song? The Beach Boys: "I Get Around."
Don't trust the atoms, because they make up everything.
Guys, I'm sorry about these bad puns. I should've kept my big Meowth shut.
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
He's dead now.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.
I'm friends with 2 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.
You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!
Jacob has a small penis.
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
What do you say when Trump is still president during 2020? Magic!
Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
Am I in Florida, because I'm triggered?
What do you call a fat midget?
A pig.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.