Worst Jokes Ever
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
Fucking Windows updates!
How do you poop?
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how many you throw.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call.
He got hurt in a egg-cident, and it never got eggs-elent.
When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower.
It happened too fast, he watched the very last.
Next he died, eaten all fried.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.