I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
My pp.
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
nOnBiNaRy TrAsH
Oh he.
Uuhgggyuuuhhhgg.
Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.