Worst Jokes Ever
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
Why do bugs hate the internet?
Because they always get caught.
Get it? Inter-net?
Why do orphans look at a house for so long?
'Cause they never had one.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
The fucking cat!
You don't have any balls.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
What’s a homeless person's favorite food?
What did the screw say to the screw? We sure screwed things up!