Worst Jokes Ever
I tried to catch fog today. I mist.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
Other person: Yes.
Sorry, I'm still working on it! π
Yo mama's so fat, a man has to bring climbing equipment to kiss her on the cheek.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
What happens when an alien connects with your device?
The alien says on your device: ".-- . / - .-. .- ...- . .-.. / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- .- -. -.-- / -- .- -. -.-- / --. .- .-.. .- -..- -.-- ..."
What is the funniest joke of all time?
Your face.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldnβt remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, βBe positive!β
Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.
Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP Μs propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant? Because he had a big bill.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
Deez nuts, ahaha!
Sure, just tell me how to put on a mask.
What do you call a Mexican's prison?
The border.
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
They can't say no if they're unconscious.