Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
Glory 🕳 equals 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 bonding.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet?
"You look flushed."
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
Why did the M&M go to school?
Because it wanted to be a Smartie!
Roses are red, My heart, my heart is dead. I have a gun straight to my head.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
Say _______ is so flat that when someone hit them, they got a paper cut!
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
This website is cruel and is NOT funny.
Why was eight afraid of seven? Because 7, 8, 9!
🤔 ❓ How do lesbians 😳 practice safe 🙏 sex they put condoms on dildos and then they put dildos inside of their 👄 👄 👄 mouths and then they perform fellatio on them
My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it, but I'm not too worried. I think she is joking.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
The reason that girls are not allowed in boys' treehouses is because girls can't keep their mouths shut about boys taking turns sucking each other's hotdogs.
Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What's the really bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.
And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?