Why did the girls sit on the clock?
To be on time.
Worst Jokes Ever
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
Yo mama is so fat, she got locked in a weapon store, and she broke it down without any weapons.
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus.
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Why can’t orphans buy ice cream?
They don’t have money.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."
And then the wall fell on them.
Family are together playing charades.
Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!
We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.
Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
I have sex.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!