Worst Jokes Ever

A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?

GHOST MUSTERD

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."

You are family.

So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(

Nosy.

A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

My Grandma, like any other, got an APPLE IPHONE 12, but as we all know, we get dumb, and so we buy a phone. My grandma did not even know how to use it. She even said, "How do I go on Google?" I told her, "YOU CAN'T!" My grandma was, like, "Yeah right, how do I do it?"

Comment down below, does your grandma do this?

Hi stone, I'm watching.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU...

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

Why did Lucas die?

'Cause he was old, Lucas.

What do you call a Russian pharmacist?

"Ivan Astichestykov."

Why did my dad leave me?

Because I was gay.

Fuck y'all, orphan lives matter!