Worst Jokes Ever
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
The teacher asked a young boy in primary school, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
To which the boy replies, "No."
The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.
At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks, "Can you tell me the alphabet?"
"Shut up," she replied.
The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks, "Can you teach me the alphabet?"
But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.
But his brother is singing, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.
But his sister is singing, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.
The boy replies, "Shut up."
"Alright, I'm sending you to the principal's office right now."
The boy replies, "Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!"
In the office, the principal says, "Who do you think you are?"
The boy replies, "I'm Michael Jackson, I'm Michael Jackson!"
The principal now says, "How do you think you'll get away with this?"
The boy then replies, "In my big red car, in my big red car!"
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pizza, but all they got was plane.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
Kenny is a comfort snacker.
Every time he's stressed, he eats his mom's pussy.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."
God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....