Worst Jokes Ever

What did the father name his daughter with no legs?

Peggy.

What do you call German weed?

Mustard Gas.

When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

I stole one's balls.

What's white, yellow and goes 40 mph?

A train driver's egg sandwich.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

Look in the mirror.

What's the definition of disgusting?

Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.

Why can't I be gay? I have nobody to call "daddy."

I wish I was rich and not poor and retarded.

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

What do you call an orphan selfie?

A family photo.

So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.

I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "Daddy~"

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.