Worst Jokes Ever
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
Comment your favorite sport.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
"Confucius say, man who has mosquito on balls truly understands nonviolence."
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
What do you call a bear with no ear?
B.
I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.
I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.
Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.
Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.
Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"
Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually came back.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)