"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
What can a gay man with a physical disability do better than a heterosexual woman that doesn't have a physical disability?
Suck a big cock.
When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.
I don't get it.
Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".
What does the F in "orphan" stand for?
"Family," but there is no F.
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.
Your momma's so fat, she went on safari and got shagged by an elephant!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in 'em!
Chris Rock: Jada, I can't wait to see you in G.I. Jane 2!
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song starts playing:
Will: "I got in one lil' fight about my wife's lost hair, she said, 'Will, if you don't do something I'm gonna have an affair!'" 😂😂😂
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
