Worst Jokes Ever
When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?
You would be dam unlucky.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
My stepdad has stage 4 cancer and is going through chemotherapy... at least he saves money on shampoo and conditioner.
One day, a kid walks up to their mom and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a daisy landed on your head." The second kid asks, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom's reply is, "Because when you were born, a butterfly landed on your head." Then you hear, "Ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf."
"Shut up, Brick!"
One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
I killed a man, but it was April Fools'!
Art? More like fart! Hahahahhahahahahahhah!
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?