Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Puss.

I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!

Have you heard of Wendy's?

Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.

I hope you SEA me around later, 'cause I SHORE won't stay here for long.

What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?

Meals on wheels.

Alles tut weh.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.

If you’re American when you go in the bathroom...

... and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

When you're sad, hit an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

What did the tower say to the other?

"Man, someone's on fire today!"

Man, I am jealous of the victims of 9/11. They are the fastest readers, who went through 87 stories in 8 seconds.

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.

Why is there no gambling in Africa?

Too many Cheetahs.

What do you call an orange parrot? A carrot!