Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an emo with no legs?
Emobile.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.
What did MC Hammer say to Michael Jackson?
"U Can't Touch Kids."
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
George Floyd is truly breathtaking.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss.
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
Michael has canceled his upcoming dates. They were Tommy, age 9, and Bobby, 11.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!