Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
What do pedophiles call children in wheelchairs?
"Meals on Wheels."
Australian says to American: why do you have such bad gun laws?
American: Self defense.
Australian: Self defense against 50 innocent children?
There was an illegal alien woman who wanted to be called "undocumented." So, I had "undocumented" sex with her and threatened to have her deported if she reported me for rape. I'd call it even.
What is a reverse exorcism?
It’s when the demon tells the priest to get out of the child’s body.
A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.
Like if you wanna have sex.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
What’s the most annoying thing about licking bald pussy?
Putting the damn nappy back on afterwards...
The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"
Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
I was playing a tennis match against a girl and said, "I will fuck you up." She said, "Try me." So that's exactly what I did, and I won by forfeit as she ended up running away crying.
