Worst Jokes Ever
Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.
The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.
"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."
"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."
The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.
"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
I am cool.
Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.
Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.
I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
"I'm an orphan."
"I didn't ask."
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
I love making jokes about orphans!
What are they going to do, tell their parents?
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.