Worst Jokes Ever

Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.

They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.

I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

What did the plane say to the tower?

"Give me a kiss."

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?

A baby in two dumpsters.

Why did the Romans build straight roads? So the Pakis (bastards) didn't build corner shops.

Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.

Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.

What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?

Hot Wheels.

What's the difference between me and you?

Nothing, the fudge you expected ni-

If you are homeless, get a home.

My dad went to go get milk.

The orphan tried to play baseball, but he couldn't get home because home doesn't exist for him.

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

What happens when a frog parks illegally?

He gets toad.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could lick her candy.

But Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock.

Because Jill's real name was Randy.

How did the gay girl die? Homicide.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

Your forehead is so big, your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.