911 jokes

How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.

Biden did 9/10.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

911.

911 who?

You said you would never forget.

I don't know why, but every 911 joke I've heard always comes crashing down.

Apparently terrorists and Japs are the same; they both went kamikaze.

What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

Why is ten afraid? Because he’s in between nine and eleven.

It was September 10, 2001, when I stayed up watching TV shows.

I woke up late for work at The World Trade Center, but it was burning. I said out loud, "I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean... I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

How do you know that Americans hate exercise?

9/11. How else do you explain hundreds of them jumping to their death rather than taking the stairs?

My grandpa was a great pilot, but he died on September 11, 2001.

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

You know how they said weight people can't jump? Check out the 9/11 videos.

What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?

"9 Juan Juan, who this?"

Me: 911, I just killed someone.

Cops: Cool, we will not come.

Me: Why?

Cops: Don't admit a crime.

Phones: *Bang Bang*

Me: Well, that was 2 crimes done.

Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!

Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?

Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?

Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Doctor: *calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?

Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?

911 service: *hangs up*