3 jokes

Dog

    • Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."

    First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."

    She replies, "Really original."

    Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."

    She replies, "Ew, gross."

    Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."

    Winner dog 3.

  • 0

    • Parachute

    • There are 4 people on a plane while it's crashing and there are only 3 parachutes. There's Opera, Obama, a little girl, and Trump. Opera grabs a parachute and says, "I'm famous, I get one!" And Trump grabs one and says, "Well, I'm president, of course I get one!" Obama looks at the little girl and says, "Since you're the future of our generation, take the last one." The little girl hugs Obama and says, "Actually, we can both have one. Trump took my backpack!"

  • 3

    • Man

    • Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

  • 0
    • 3 memes

    Shark

    • [God creating sharks]

    God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.

    Angel: Seems excessive but ok.

    God: And make them mean as hell.

    Angel: WTF y.

    God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.

    Angel:...

    God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.

    Angel: Why do I still work for you?

    God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.

  • 0

    • Guy

    • Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?

    Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.

    Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.

    Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<

    Guy 1: Like I do care :$

    Guy 3: But I do care :<

    Guy 1: F*ck you.

    Guy 3: Do it.

    Guy 2: But you do care about me.

    Guy 3: No.

    Guy 2: F*ck you.

    Guy 3: Do it.

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

  • 0

    • Diet

    • A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

  • 0

    • Sugar

    • Johnny, Johnny?

    Yes, Papa.

    Eating sugar?

    Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.

    Smoking? Telling lies?

    Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.

  • 0

    • Foot

    • What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

    What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

  • 0

    • Fun Fact

    • 10 Fun Facts.

    1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

  • 15

    • Pilot

    • Okay class, who can tell me who the fastest readers are?

    The pilots of 9/11 went through the Twin Towers, 6 in 3 seconds.

  • 2

    • Dark Humor

    • Rules of Dark humor:

    1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

    2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

    3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.

    I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

    - Sincerely, Zane

  • 33

    • Magician

    • Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.