3 jokes
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
What has 3 legs, 4 arms, and 5 heads?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
What are the 3 shortest words in the English language?
“Is It In?”
Memes
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
What does a man have 3 of, which a girl only has 2 of?
Legs.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
What country has been the hottest in recent years?
Sri Lanka, they had 3 bombs in a day!
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"