A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money bartender says you gotta do 3 task he takes the shot of Jack and the customer says what are the tasks he says the 1st one is but the 1st 1 is I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth and you gotta pull it he says all right what's the 2nd 1 he said I got a big old girl upstairs that aint had no loving in a long time you gotta make her smile he takes another shot of Jack he said all right what's the 3rd 1 he said you see that horse outside you gotta make him laugh and cry Guy goes upstairs goes out back comes out to the front comes back in the other customer said give him the jar The guy says I took care of that lady's tooth and I made that alligator smile well how'd you make the horse laugh he said easy i told him I had a bigger deck then him bartender says how did you make him cry he said easy I showed him
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12 piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
I use to look up to my mom but I am 12 I now I look down
You know if you Poo on the toilet at 11:59 pm... then at 12:01 am, its just the same shit , different day.....
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans. When she gets home his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes of the blind fold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on there nose singing happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if u make jokes abt SH you're not funny and if u do im gonna assume you're some 12 year old who wants to be an edge lord idrc if ppl get pressed
Best pick up line EVER.
there is a app on your phone called ringer go into it there is a 12 to 15 digit number enter that into my phone my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited. Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
Did you know that McDonalds made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50 year old piece of meat in a 12 year old bun.
my step mom walked in naked once i sky rocketed that day i was 12
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
You momma's so fat she started fat lives matter .. meetings are everyday 11 o clock mcdonalds 12 o clock kfc 1 o'clock pizza Hut
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
DB: I'm the only shotgun with more than 1 barrel! Lancaster:*are you sure about that?* DB:huh? Lancaster:*I have 4 barrels!* DB:WHAT!? Penta Barrel:*I got 5!* DB:*insert becoming uncanny* Dual Hexagon shotgun:*I got 12!* the others:*HOW!?*
*and thats how an arguement started.*
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy you've worked out it is ak but what is 59 minis 12. Timmy shakes his head not knowing the teacher asks how about ak 49 minus 2? Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells What comes after ak Timmy!? The white kid at the back stands shouts 47 and pulls the trigger.
at the age 100 you get a letter from the queen, at 12, you get a DM from prince charles.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop an 12
What has 15 arms 9 legs 8 heads and 12 eyeballs
A mosque after i missile strike it