12 jokes

What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?

My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.

What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?

A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

The inmates are yelling 12...12...12... in the courtyard.

A man walking by is interested why the keep chanting 12...12...12... so he sticks his head through the fence and the inmate poked the man in the eye.

Moment later they start chanting 13...13...13...

I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.

I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."

I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., and his wife is livid. "You swore that you'd be home by 11:45!"

"No," slurs the mathematician, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.