12 year old

12 year old jokes

Divorce

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!

Woman

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

Fetus

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

Lie

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

Boy

I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.

Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.

Man

A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”

The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”

  • 1
  • Friend

    What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...

    You get to meet Chris Hansen!

    Sister

    Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

    Sister: No, I won't stop.

    Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

    Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

    Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

    Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

    Sh

    If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

    Mario

    What did the 19-year-old say to the 12-year-old?

    Wanna play Mario Smash Bros without Mario or his bros?

    Christmas

    Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

    12 year old me: Yeah!

    Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

    Me: What?

    Pedophile

    A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

    Shower

    What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

    If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

    Priest

    What is the difference between a priest and McDonald's? Nothing, they both stick their meat in between 12-year-old buns.

    Woman

    I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.