12 year old jokes

What did the 12-year-old boy say to the priest?

Nothing, because his mouth was full.

What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.

What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage.

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.

What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?

Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

A 60-year-old man is walking along a deserted road with a 12-year-old boy. It’s getting dark, and the boy says, “Hey mister, it’s getting dark and I’m scared.”

The man replies, “You’re scared? I’ve got to walk back to town alone!”

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.

A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."

A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."

<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*

Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.