12 year old jokes

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?

12 year old me: Yeah!

Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?

Me: What?

What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?

If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.

What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?

They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.

I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.

Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

Sister: No, I won't stop.

Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.

The last entry was about 12 years old.

I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."

A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."

<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*

Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."

Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

I like my women like I like my scotch:

12 years old and mixed with coke.

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.

I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.