Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
Who are the worlds fastest readers? 911 victims 100 stories in 11 seaconds
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII. My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler. Me: *Relizes*
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour
~babies in a blender 😌
Yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying 100 pound of crack
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 off a bet
They betted $100 that they won’t crash when they went through the twin towers
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100. Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
How did you get into the tampon 100 Pull some strings
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping and I was starving so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times but nothing new was in their
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and airforces but as soon as I spend a $100 on hookers she leaves me
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
dad: Johnny Johnny? Johnny: Yes papa dad:Getting women? Johnny:yes papa dad: Telling lies? Johnny:no papa dad:Well your 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN
What does a 100 year old pornstar and the white stripes have in common? Icky Thump
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day
You learn something new everyday. Like the people in 9 11 are the worlds fastest readers they went through 100s in under a seconds
people say your body is 75% is water while mine 100% full of coffee
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages Someone else: How was it? Me: It's a long story
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing then his friend calls and he is groaning he said he was having cramps so the husband tell the docter "doc turn it up to 40%" so he does and his friend throws up so he said "doc turn it up to 100%" and his friend dies
