Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Yo mama so fat, she broke Usain Bolt's 100 meter speed record by taking ONE STEP!
Who are the worlds fastest readers? 911 victims 100 stories in 11 seaconds
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour
~babies in a blender 😌
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying 100 pound of crack
You learn something new everyday. Like the people in 9 11 are the worlds fastest readers they went through 100s in under a seconds
people say your body is 75% is water while mine 100% full of coffee
How did you get into the tampon 100 Pull some strings
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.
Someone else: How was it?
Me: It's a long story.
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing then his friend calls and he is groaning he said he was having cramps so the husband tell the docter "doc turn it up to 40%" so he does and his friend throws up so he said "doc turn it up to 100%" and his friend dies
