100 jokes
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.
Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
Why did Al Qaeda lose $100 on a bet?
They bet $100 that they wouldn't crash when they went through the Twin Towers.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.