The E and F in Orphan stands for Every one in their Family Me: yep they definitely have one 100% đź’Ż
When you turn 100 you get a letter from the Queen, when you turn 16 you get a DM from prince Andrew.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% Graduation rate and he said "Your mom doesn't count as a college"
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed. Me: If your only counting me. 100%
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds
why do orphans like spider man 100% of them are like him
i just donated 100$ to a blind children charity, suck that no one will see it
how do you fit 100 rape victims inside a mini cooper?
in the ashtray
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated, we don't need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway, guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!!!"
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water? 199, because, the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real). Get? https://youtu.be/XZQOjp0i35A?t=333
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
this is a lot like anal sex
you always miss 100% of shots if you take it
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives. condoms 99 percent effective birth controll 99 percent effective ect just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time ( only cost 20 years in jail ;)
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can? 100 dead babies in a trash can. What is worse than that? There's a live one at the bottom. What is worse than that? It eats its way out. What is worse than that? It comes back for seconds.
What does an orphan and a females mouth have in common?
They take in 100’s of kids
approached (DYM 100)
Me when my girlfriend comes home I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out and her text says yes. Get the whip your out
it cost me $100 dollars to ride a taxi over your belly it was that big
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
