What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't Chinese children believe in Santa?
Because they're the ones making the toys.
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.
Science can fly you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you canโt say you werenโt warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.
For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.
Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.
For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?
Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.
Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.
For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.
So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
Knock, knock.
Whoโs there?
I suck.
I suck who?
Michael Jackson.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy". (My bad if this offended anyone.)
All these people on here making me wish I knew them IRL.
From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.
My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.
But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.
So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
