Worst Jokes Ever
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.
Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.
Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
You really put the R in special.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
What's black and sits on top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
My principal called my mom at school and said, "You should teach your son well." After coming back home, at first she taught me sex!