Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
What do autistic retards and birds have in common?
They both flap their arms, lol.
If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?
A swallow.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
A can't opener.
Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
How do skyscrapers make friends?
They reach out.
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
"Okay, Boomer."
Why did the pervert cross the road?
His dick was stuck in the chicken.
I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.
12 months of training completely wasted.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
What does every pirate hate?
A small chest with no booty.