Worst Jokes Ever
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
How can a pimp save money in buying condoms for his stable?
Answer: Have his hoes wash and rinse them after every use.
What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
Why can't fat kids play poker?
They eat all the chips.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
Manly men go to strip clubs. JD Vance goes to IKEA.
How did the Shaggy defense become successful for JD Vance?
He was not banging on the sofa. Rather, he was banging the sofa!
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.