Worst Jokes Ever
A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
What made you suddenly lose interest in someone you were pursuing?
When I found out they liked me back. Not interested in someone with poor judgment.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
My dad told me he only drinks on days that start with a "T":
Tuesday, Thursday, today, tomorrow.
A little known rule: You cannot be circumcised if you are running for political office in the US.
You need to be a complete dick.
Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?
Because all the other letters are not Z's.
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
What is the difference between Batman and a black man?
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
Prostitution. The only job that pays more if you suck.
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
Q: What was the last thing the United Healthcare CEO heard before he got shot?
A: "It's me, Luigi!"
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.