Worst Jokes Ever
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
"Talking about childhood habits, my friend told me he still collects coins and post stamps and all. He asked me, I said - breastfeeding."
Q. What do you get when you blindfold a racist?
A. A Notsee.
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
What’s better than the best thing ever?
Me being mod.
"Can we at least give them one credit—for abiding the traffic laws?"
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Yo, you have the biggest Oliver brain, which means you are the dumbest boy ever.
Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...