Worst Jokes Ever

I don't beat up midgets.

That would be punching down.

Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.

Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".

Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

What does a burnt pizza, cold beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

Someone didn’t pull it out in time.

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

What do you call two Chinese lesbians?

Two can't chew.

What do you call a flooded hospital?

Vegetable soup.

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”

What does a slave owner use to buy slaves? A Master Card.

Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?

It’s called "Maybe Dick."

Why does Batman’s mask only cover half of his face?

So the police can see that he’s white.

No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.

Explain Bear is always there for you.

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you stick the cucumber.

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.

What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can’t hear an enzyme.