Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
What do you call a tent for lesbians?
Finger Hut.
Lemme tell you a little story.
It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.
So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.
Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.
And finally... you peel back the last plank.
And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.
BOOOOOOO!!!!
It’s Anne Frank.
How do you stop all homophobic heterosexual white men from using all public men's restrooms at a rest area?
Make sure that all public men's restrooms at the rest area are always occupied with gay men that have long and thick big cocks, regardless of skin color.
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.
I know how to cut down on Medicare expenses.
Lock Alzheimer's patients in dog cages when they misbehave.
Q: How do you know you're at a gay barbecue? A: All the hot dogs taste like shit.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?
Cremation.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.
Why are cops worried about drunk drivers and not elderly drivers?
What do you call a white person from Africa?
Albino.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One is for Sunday morning, and one is for Sunday night.
My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.
Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.