You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Worst Jokes Ever
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
Why are people in Japan so thin?
Because it didn't end well the last time a Fat Man was there.
Why is Donald Trump so desperate to break into the White House?
Most landlords cannot lease their properties to him due to the fact that he is a felon.
Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
