Worst Jokes Ever
Trump cut funding for Sesame Street.
I think he's jealous that the characters on Sesame Street can count to 10.
Did you hear about the nun that got kicked out of the convent?
She got caught squatting on the cucumbers in the garden.
How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?
Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.
Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'
I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.
My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.
I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”
What has four legs and one arm?
A Rottweiler in a children’s playground.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What do you call a gay T-Rex?
A tyranno-sore-ass!
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.