Why are Republicans supporting giving felons the right to vote?
Because their own personal jeebus is a felon!
Worst Jokes Ever
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Why did God create yeast infections?
So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do you call a Trump Supporter?
A piece of $hit!
"You wanna play the rape game?" "No." "That's the spirit!"
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
What's the difference between a CEO and licorice?
The licorice is black.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
Where do poor Italians live?
The spaghetto.
What do you call a necrophiliac gangbang?
Cracking open a cold one with the boys.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
