Worst Jokes Ever
If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
I got told I'm too mean and that I need to think before I speak. So now I take a couple minutes and think of what will REALLY piss the other person off.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
Bros over hos.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.