Worst Jokes Ever
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa Claus gets to leave the chimney alive.
How are boobs and toys similar?
Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.
When prostitutes misbehave, do their pimps make them stand out on the corner with a "For Rent" sign on their crotch?
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What’s the worst thing about having a wife with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What do you call an @EB with no ears?
An Explain B.
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut, you fucking racist.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
Why did Catholic women stop going to church?
Because it takes Jesus three days to rise.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
What did Spiderman say on September 11th, 2001?
"Look out, Here comes the Spiderman!"
What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?
A pillow fight.
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower? I can’t talk right now, I gotta catch a plane.
Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?
I guess it really IS all in the execution.
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.