Yours jokes

Friend: What goes up but not down?

You: Your age.

What did the funny bone say to the skin?

"You're not humerus, I am!"

Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.

Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."

What is your name in my phone?

I love your house. I have been in your art for.

You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.

You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.

They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.

Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.

Your insults are like a blank bullet: a stupid and harmless joke.

"Where did you learn to do bookkeeping?"

"Yale."

"And what was your name again?"

"Yackson."

What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?

You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.

You're more depressing than your own abortion video.

I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.

Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.

Why do Jews suck at mugging?

Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.

Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.

Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?

"Thank you for letting me borrow your wife."

*darned autocorrect*

"Thank you for letting me borrow your wi-fi"