Yours jokes
Hey paps, BONE-appetit!
(Just eat your spaguetti.)
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Your hairline is so bad people thought you were Vegeta!
I saw your license. It said you're 15.
I checked your face. It says you're 50.
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
Memes
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
Your Nan is dead.
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
There was a kid sitting in a corner.
Me: "Hey! Why are you here at an orphanage?"
Orphan: "..."
Me: "Oh, wait, you're an orphan."
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
Your mom is so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Speak to your dad before I put my hand up your ass!
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
Your mom is emo, Deacon.
Your hairline goes back to the Middle Ages.