Yours jokes

A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.

Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?

Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.

Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"

Hi, Charlie, is your friend?

Me: What are we doing in HPE?

Friend: Fitness.

Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

Hi, I hope you’re

If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store.

I said to him: "I don't think they have what you're looking for, sir."

Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.

What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.

Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!

Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"

Guy: That's probably because you're single.