Yours jokes
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.
Yeah, your legs.
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
Alicia: I said no already, quit it. You are thirsty, leave me alone creep.
Nathan: I wanna sex YOU.
Alicia: I LOVE DICK bud, you're *WEIRD*.
Nathan: WE-WE
Alicia: WEE-WEE?
Nathan: YES YES YES LETS FUCK NOW TAKE them panies off u said yes well in french but u said yes
Alicia: U tricked me I ain fucking u
Nathan: *SEX ME!! BITCH SEX ME OH PLEASE SEX ME SEX ME* *screaming saying it*
Alicia: *WEIRD*
Nathan: Dick ten inches and i geuss u cant call me *10 inched big long dick nathan* your lose
Alicia: WHAT NO.... wait? 10 inches yess
cauh!.cauh! ummm umm long dick goood unmmm couh coun ccccchhou
nathan: why do i have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy
cuugh umm
What is your summer name? Hot.
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.
As a woman, why is your stomach bigger than your bums? 😒
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It's always 90 degrees there.
When you accidentally choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that it's your sister so who gives a f**k?
POV: You're an orphan.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your mom.
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”