Yours jokes
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
Memes
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
What is the best time to eat dinner?
When you're hungry.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.
When you were late to school and your teacher called you tardy, she meant that in more ways than one.
What did Rengoku say to his class?
"Set your school ablaze!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
Where's your off button?
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"