Yours jokes
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
Your forehead is so big, the moon landing was there.
Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Are you made of gold, titanium, sulfur, titanium, and carbon?
Cuz you’re looking a little big Au Ti S Ti C.
I’d pound your mom so fast, even Sonic would get jealous!
Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?
Because every time it was sung... the line “fire away” caused massive confusion and shooting!
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
Your hairline goes back to when Jeff Bezos had hair.