Yours jokes

You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.

Your hairline goes so far back, we learned about it in history class.

What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?

A pap smear.

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

Your mama is so ugly, she doesn't have to flush the toilet. She already scared the shit out of it.

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.

You're so skinny that you fall.

Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

You think your friends get butthurt?

That's gay guys.

Your hairline is so far back it makes me look like Shaq O'Neal.

Yo, your hairline look like a cup.

Your hairline is so far back, your barber didn't know where to start.

I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...

Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.

Next day:

Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?

Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.

The dad sulked for 3 whole years.

Proof that words really can hurt.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is yours, Facebook will do.

I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”

Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!