Yours jokes
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's a native chick say after sex?
"Get off me, Dad, you're crushing my smokes!"
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”
Your mom is gay, just like your dad.
Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked him what he was supposed to be. He answered, "A turtle."
"Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again.
The boy answered, "It's Michelle."
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
I don't have any friends.
If you like this, I can be your friend :)
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!
Your hairline is like Justin Bieber’s buzz cut.
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"